Things Fall Apart!

Things Fall Apart!

My fingers need a massage; they are tired of typing 'themselves' over the last 2 days, thanks to the election results.

Friends, relatives, ex-colleagues, neighbours, schoolmates, and collegemates, all the different groups I have been part of had the same common theme: Politics.

Why did someone lose and deserve it vs someone's win, and how they loved it? I have yet to type so much for any of my blogs so far. But then politics gets us emotional- we take sides. We have opinions. And when someone negates them, the ego/rage takes over. It didn't matter if it were cousins or friends with whom I had some wonderful moments to savour or ex-colleagues with whom I had executed crucial projects, travelled overseas together and many such pleasant memories. Once the politics of ✋vs 🌹 came, we all forgot our past/current relationships and were more than extending our expressions. 

The medium of communication makes it even easier: WhatsApp! The seamless app to create more mistrust among people with whom you built relationships without it! The last few days brought some not-so-pleasant interactions with people with whom I love to hang out.

Besides Politics, which other topic evokes similar emotions for you? Would that be Money?

Think of people with whom you had altercations because of money; I can recollect being upset with my late Dad for not giving me money for school trips. Just that I could only sulk then. Remember borrowing or lending money to friends, relatives, and colleagues and how it brought the worst reactions from you/them. Financial transactions are a common thread for us to judge people or eventually distance from them. Even at work, have you reflected on how our own body language changes when we discuss money with our bosses/reportees? 

Let's say you asked for an "X" hike or bonus from your boss, and you got less. Have you observed how our tone/body language changes with colleagues with whom we hang out so frequently? If you are a manager, there are possibilities that you feel your team is ungrateful when they demand more money or sometimes the way they seek it. Being stoic is challenging, especially when the topic is 'money'. Some of us are not trained enough to discuss money matters with our bosses. So, we avoid it and suffer, or we quit and remain bitter. If we don't develop the skills to discuss money in a non-emotional way, we may need to keep quitting jobs frequently or become an entrepreneur. I can tell you the former is easier than the latter.

Is there a way to express money matters at work without sounding like you are threatening/crying/? I have met people who say things like

  • "Boss, you know I am not here for the money."
  • When I want more money, I will ask you, and till that time, I respect your judgement.
  • Throughout my career, I have never asked my bosses for more money, I am sure I am in good hands, and you will take care of that as soon as possible.
  • I am sure you know what the market pays, and I leave that judgement to you.
  • U know I took a cut and joined here; I believe during good times, you will remember that.
  • I know we haven't done well this year. I will demand hikes when I know we are doing better.

Some of these may sound cringy; in fact, all of them. But I have heard them all way too often! Honestly, I wouldn't put so much onus on my bosses as far as pay is concerned; it would be good to have an honest conversation from time to time. It at least helps your boss and for you to know where you stand as far as money is concerned. Just like in our personal life, we put a timeline to deal with money promises our friends/relatives make; it's good to have that timeline in the organizational context as well?

Other than money, would " Love " bring the worst out of us when it doesn't meet our expectations? In the current context of my life, I am unable to experience new dimensions via Tinder or Bumble🤫

However, the people I love in my personal life give me enough experiences to get angry, dejected and lonely many times. I would presume love brings the best and also the worst out of us. Who are the people you love/loved the most who bring/brought the worst in you or vice versa?

Love is another arena, like Politics and Money, where things fall apart amongst us!

I guess at work, all 3 of these intersect in different dimensions and, at times, are unavoidable?

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